Why you might be struggling — even if nothing “big” happened
A ‘traumatic event’ isn’t always what you might assume it to be.
A traumatic experience can be any experience that we find overwhelming and alone with. It doesn’t always involve physical abuse or life threat. There are different kinds of traumatic events, they can be physical and environmental or they can be emotional and relational events. Either way, your system’s response will be the same.
Sometimes it’s not one major event that leaves a lasting impact, but a series of smaller emotional experiences that build up quietly over time.
Because they’re often common or hard to name, they can go unrecognised — yet still shape how you feel about yourself and the world around you.
These are often referred to as small ‘t’ traumas.
They can include things like:
Ongoing pressure at work, burnout, or a persistent sense of never being “enough”
Being bullied, excluded, or shamed during childhood or school years
Feeling emotionally unseen, unsupported, or like your feelings didn’t matter
Growing up in an environment where criticism was frequent or approval felt hard to earn
Difficult relationship experiences such as betrayal, rejection, or broken trust
Having to hide or minimise parts of yourself to feel safe, accepted, or included
Repeated experiences of being dismissed, overlooked, or not taken seriously
Care that was inconsistent, unpredictable, or conditional
On their own, these experiences might not always be labelled as trauma. But over time, they can influence how you relate to yourself and others — shaping patterns like self-doubt, people-pleasing, difficulty with boundaries, overthinking, or feeling stuck in cycles that are hard to shift, even when you understand them logically.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone in it.
I offer a steady, compassionate space to explore these experiences and how they may still be showing up in your life today. You don’t have to make sense of it all by yourself.
